a mind-boggling tale of debauchery, supposedly regarding “Philip Murray,
a glamorous wayward socialite son of the great classical scholar and
Oxford don Gilbert Murray. In the final days of the Spanish Civil War,
young Murray fils found himself in the beleaguered town of Valencia,
then still under Republican rule. Murray had been on an extended binge and
was reduced, in Delmer’s picturesque phrase, to a state of ‘phobic
moodiness and mad romantic exaltation in which love, hunger for love,
threw him into delusions and despair.”‘
Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2001 16:29:56 -0000
From: John Hurn (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: re: ape sex
This looks like the one…
To: (spam-protected)
From: Rachel Carthy (spam-protected)
Subject: RE: AIDS, chimps, and Sasquatch
I’m sorry, I’ve been saving this up since the great orang-shagging debate
of blessed memory because I didn’t want you all to think I was some kind of
primate perv… but I can’t hold back any longer…:
“A more romantic example of bestiality is described by the celebrated war
correspondent of the _Daily Express_, Sefton Delmer, in his vivid memoirs
_Trail Sinister_. Here, Delmer recounts in a thinly disguised portrait the
last amorous exploit of Philip Murray, a glamorous wayward socialite son of
the great classical scholar and Oxford don Gilbert Murray. In the final
days of the Spanish Civil War, young Murray _fils_ found himself in the
beleaguered town of Valencia, then still under Republican rule. Murray had
been on an extended binge and was reduced, in Delmer’s picturesque phrase,
to a state of ‘phobic moodiness and mad romantic exaltation in which love,
hunger for love, threw him into delusions and despair.’
“One evening, down in the squalid port area of Valencia, he met up at a
street circus with a ferocious anarchist group calling themselves ‘The Iron
Guard of Karl Marx’. During the show, Murray’s attention was drawn to a
female chimpanzee – the circus’ top attraction – ‘a fine buxom she-ape with
all the indications of her sex emphatically developed.’ [Why is it I hear
this in the voice of the ‘very, very drunk’ raconteur from the Fast Show? R]
“Filled with misguided love, Murray tried to buy the creature, offering a
huge rate on the black market. When the circus owner rejected his offer,
the Iron Guard of KM intervened; they called the owner a miserable skulking
capitalist – ‘You refuse to part with this ape who is obviously dying with
passion for the British compagnero!’ – threatening to shoot him and burn
down his circus if he did not agree.
“Delmer then recounts how Murray and the ape, arm in arm with the Iron
Guard of KM, proceeded on an extended tour of the town’s bars and bodegas,
during which the chimpanzee drank Fundador brandy glass for glass with her
new admirer.
“Finally, when they reached the plush Victoria Hotel, – the grandest in
town and the HQ of the foreign press corps – the night porter refused them
entry with the pompous words ‘No apes allowed in the hotel.’ The leader of
the Iron Guard of KM, brandishing a pistol, shouted ‘If you do not
immediately permit the senora ape to enter the hotel with the Ingles, then
we shall destroy the hotel and when we have finished there will be nothing
left of the hotel or you.’
“Murray and his ape duly repaired to his room, where he was last seen
turning on the bath-water, and heard saying, as he closed the door, ‘And
now, my poppet, you shall have a lovely warm bath with plenty of lovely
lavender soap. Do you like soap, oh Queen of my heart?’
“Nothing was seen or heard of them for another 48 hours. The hotel
personnel did not enter the room, partly because Murray had locked the
door, but also because they were afraid – not only of the ape but of her
peculiar English friend.
“When a leading correspondent of the _Daily Mail_, William Forrest – who
confirmed this story later to one of the authors – finally gained access to
the room, he was greeted by a scene of unutterable chaos and squalor. The
ape lay in a corner, huddled in a nest of pillows and blankets, coughing
horribly. Philip Murray lay in another corner, flushed with a high
temperature and obviously very ill.
“The British consul made arrangements for Murray, by this time almost
delirious, to be evacuated to a British hospital ship, the Maine, lying off
the coast at Alicante. But before this could take place, during his last
moments of semi-lucidity, Murray – ever romantic – was able to despatch
three cables to London – addressed to the three most eligible Society
beauties, proposing marriage to each of them.
“Murray died in the ambulance before reaching Alicante. The next morning –
Delmer records – three telegrams arrived for Murray at the Victoria Hotel.
They were from the girls to whom he had proposed. Two accepted him.
“Delmer adds the foot note that a British doctor remarked afterwards that
he had never seen a case of pneumonia like it, since this was a strain
known only among apes, and he could not understand how a human had
contracted it. Delmer and his colleagues kept faith with their dead
companion and said nothing.”
(_The Dictionary of Disgusting Ideas_ Alan Williams & Maggie Noach, 1986)
Impeccable journalistic sources… ;)
Rachel
… ..- -… .-.. .. — .. -. .- .-.. — . … … .- –. .
(spam-protected) London, British Isles
“How come if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the
universe you believe them, but if they tell you a paint job’s still
wet you have to touch it to make sure?”
