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‘And if she back with new coalition of da willing you better know fi run fast’

SomethingAwful: Livin’ In A Dictator’s Paradise. Possibly the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks:

Those of you who follow the minor news related to the recent war in Iraq might have noticed a story about the CIA broadcasting an insulting rap song about Saddam Hussein on their radio airplane. While this may seem like a fairly good idea if you’re say drunk or waging a war against a rival gangsta rapper when you’re fighting a real war it seems a little silly. Oh how wrong I was! Set to the tune of ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ this rap is roughly two minutes of distilled pathos, no doubt swaying the thoughts of many Iraqis against their brutal dictator and earning the United States a reputation for intelligence. Think about it, one day you’re strapped to a mattress spring with a car battery hooked up to your testicles being shocked for mispronouncing ‘Tikrit’. The next day you’re listening to the radio and on comes this ‘awesome’ rap song about Saddam with lines like ‘My days are finished and I will die – all I need is chili fries’ and ‘Everybody in the house say we hate you’.

That’s about when you say goodbye to your family, strap some dynamite to your chest, and sprint to the nearest Marine Corps checkpoint. What a fucking travesty. There is so much wrong with this whole concept, let alone the cringe inducing execution, that it’s hard to know where to start a rant about it. The whole thing reeks of the clumsy hipster appeal of something like ‘Poochy’ from the ‘The Simpsons’ only ten times worse because instead of a stodgy corporate think-tank it was done by the government. Asking them to create anything that’s in touch with the youth market is sort of like going to a retirement home and asking a bunch of septuagenarians with Alzheimer’s disease to pen a film script about teens coming of age in the ghetto.

Helpfully, Zack provides some suggested new tunes to cover for the next conflict with Syria… read on…

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