IJC Invents the ‘De-Bapper’

Funny: Hooray for the International Jewish Conspiracy! They’ve come up with The De-Bapper — de-baptize a fundamentalist Christian of your choice now, without their consent!

What brought this on? It seems the Mormons started it:

The Church of Latter-day Saints, a religious sect founded by a man who claimed to learn the word of God by putting his face in a hat, has been baptizing the dead, including up to several hundred thousand Jews. … Jews to have been baptized include Menachem Begin, a former prime minister of Israel, diarist Anne Frank, and the Baal Shem Tov, the spiritual leader whose teachings form the basis for the Hasidic movement. …

“Mormons baptize the dead using a practice known as proxy baptism, which allows a living person to stand in for the deceased,” explains Yosef Shmidt, counter-Mormon intelligence specialist. “The process is slow, and requires a ceremony that includes complete immersion of the proxy in water. ‘De-bapping’ is done on a specially consecrated Macintosh G-4 computer, known as the Mac A/B. It’s faster, and since you use fewer towels, better for the environment.”

Top ten De-Baptism choices include Mel Gibson, ‘S&M Film Director’, and GWB, ‘IJC Puppet’. Also worth a read over at the IJC:

IJC Yet to Choose US President: “The International Jewish Conspiracy’s Government Oversight Committee have still not decided who they will install as America’s next president … The Keeper of the Silver Spoon, who has overseen George W. Bush’s meteoric rise from AA reject to International Jewish Conspiracy puppet, fears his protege may be a one-hit wonder … ‘It’s not that he said all Jews are going to hell. … It’s that every time he tries to think for himself, he gets it wrong. When we told him to screw the economy, we meant with his stupid tax cuts, where the rich would get the extra. Instead he pours it all into the desert.”

And: href=”http://www.internationaljewishconspiracy.com/articles/ijc_031208_lizard.html”> Are You a Giant Lizard? You’d Be Surprised!: “Conspiracy theorist David Icke has claimed that most members of the Illuminati (including some of the world’s premier Cognoscenti here at the International Jewish Conspiracy) are, in fact, giant shape-shifting lizards called Draconians. Although Icke has singled out two Jewish families, the Rothschilds and the Bronfmans, the International Jewish Conspiracy’s Medical Corps fears that other INJEWCON Members may be at risk.” Read the article for some easy ways to tell (‘when angry, do you hiss and climb the drapes?’)

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