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I’m a Dermotologist!

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On Wednesday 20 May 2009, speaking at a parliamentary Justice Committee debating his new blasphemy law, Dermot Ahern joked that people were making blasphemous comments about him, and he compared his own purity to that of the baby Jesus.

So we have a Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary Justice Committee discussing his own blasphemy law, that could make his own jokes illegal.

In honour of this Ministerial revelation, we have founded the Church of Dermotology. We believe God sent Dermot Ahern to save Ireland from rational thinking. Our sacred symbol is the Star of Dermot.

Our sacred beliefs are quite similar to those of other religions.

  • We believe ice cream wafers are literally the body of Dermot Ahern.
  • We believe Dermot Ahern created the universe on Wed 20 may 2009.
  • We’re sometimes not sure whether Dermot Ahern really exists.
  • We believe it is blasphemous to publish an image of Dermot Ahern.
  • We refuse to gather sticks on the Sabbath, which is Wednesday.
  • We wear magic underpants that protect us from fire and bullets.
  • We are outraged whenever anybody insults our sacred beliefs.
  • We fervently support Dermot Ahern’s proposed blasphemy law.
  • If it is passed, we will be regularly outraged, and will take test cases.

Like Scientologists, Dermotologists offer a free personality test. Question one: are you vulnerable? Question two: have you money? If you answer yes to either of these questions, you’re in.

After you join, check out the campaign against the Irish blasphemy law at

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