Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2001 10:15:18 -0000
From: “Bob Rickard” (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected) Com” (spam-protected)
Subject: FW: Help Stick it to Osama!
From: Billy Yank …
Subject: Help Stick it to Osama!
Introducing the latest weapon in the war on terrorism: THE OSAMA ‘PIN-LADEN’ ANTI-TERRORIST VOO-DOO DOLL!!!!
Yes, you read right….AN Osama Doll! But NOT JUST A DOLL!!! The ‘Pin Laden’ Voo-Doo doll is NOT just a wacky little stocking stuffer… It is a bona-fide, home-brewed ‘PSY-OPS’ ANTI-TERROR MOVEMENT!!!! Read on:
It’s like this—Remember those Moony conventions (or whatever they were), where they got thousands of people together in a football stadium to blow out a candle thorugh willpower? Well, we’re trying to ‘blow out’ Bin-boy pretty urgently, and WE NEED YOUR HELP!! So Grab your Osama Voo-Doo doll, an assortment of The Red,White and Blue ‘Patriot Pins’ included, and STICK IT TO HIM AMERICA!!!
Remember, THIS IS WAR, so please buy a few for patriotic friends too…YOUR COUNTRY THANKS YOU!
Still not convinced?!
OK, OK, While it may not be an officially sanctioned initiative in the War against Terrorism, ‘MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT,’ this IS for a good cause. 15% of the net profits wil be donated to Rudy Giuliani’s TWIN TOWERS FUND.
So in a way, it’s like RUDY HIMSELF SAID YOU SHOULD BUY ONE!…(unless he e-mails us all pissed off, in which case we’ll take this part out.)
But wait a second…if you poke an Osama Voo-Doo doll, WILL IT REALLY WORK to combat terrorism? Well, if you don’t, it wont work for sure, so WHAT’VE YOU GOT TO LOSE?! Rip open the bag, chant a few curses, and STICK IT TO HIM AMERICA!!!
Hmmm….If you’ve read down this far, I guess you still need convincing….You’re probably thinking this is just one more lame spam advertisement sent to clog up your in-box for the profit of others.
Uhhhh….Well, you have a point, but we have one too–6 in fact..You see, every person who decides to ‘Stick it’ to the ‘Pin-Laden’ Voo-Doo doll, with the 6 RED, WHITE AND BLUE ‘PATRIOT PINS’ included in the package allows us to donate money to the families of victims of the 9-11 attack via the Twin Towers Fund. It’s a COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE (albeit slightly tasteless) venture, and this IS much funnier than 99% of all the other junk you receive, isn’t it? And after all, they really do make great stocking stuffers to boot.
Look, what are you afraid of? Hey — it’s a cloth doll okay?! It ain’t anthrax, and it ain’t gonna make you end up on some kind of Tipper Gore black-magic satanist insurgent watch list! It may very well delight and impress your friends, and make a useful doorstop, toilet scrub-brush, rottweiler chew-toy, or firestarter!! When we bring one of these to the local pub, they make a nice trade for a few free beers.
Hey one word of warning…this is not a toy, this is a WEAPON OF WAR!!! So please keep this product away from children, incompetant adults, and any terrorists you may happen to know personally. Use the same care with this product that you would playing with matches or cleaning your ears with your car keys.
IN SUM, we invite you to Vent Anger, Relieve Stress, and Aid Victims…. ….and most of all, STICK IT TO HIM AMERICA!!!!